Wish I had more time to update things. Its been a hectic year, school, babies, school, babies, school, big baby... I mean boyfriend... now its work babies, work, babies etc. I enjoy my new summer job the people are hilarious I hate that my boss isn't a parent though cause it gives him a bias view of me in the negative. I've missed two days already and am scared I missed two more but I'm pretty sure my schedule said I'm off Sunday and Monday... I'd rather assume that than go in... cause the reason I have time to update is cause my sons are in Regina for the weekend coming home tonight. So if I work I'd be saying ow a billion times for minimal movements. The little milk ravaging beasts that I adore have left me to explode. I really want to wean Mason but sometimes its so hard to say no to that face... but if he just would he would eat better. My family is terrified (no exaggeration) that he's starving... no baby starves themselves (unless people try to force feed him and he hunger strikes)... he just eats very little... I think he is absolutely perfect in terms of weight as compared to height and such... but on no just because he doesn't have a huge belly or legs the size of two litre bottles he's starving... wish they'd just look at all the other kids in his daycare... he's exactly the same size except for a couple of the native kids. He's average for the city... but on the rez he's starving omg... I look at some of those babies and see constant feeding and processed foods, sugar, and fatty foods. They're chubby/fat almost everyone of them... but Mason is average in the city in mix with kids from all cultures... thats gotta say that he's fine... but they're blind to things like that. Merek is slender but not thin, he's average too he just has a rounder belly two perfectly lovely cheeks. Merek is so special somehow... he doesn't talk which kind of makes me nervous... but he communicates so well! He knows what he wants and knows just how to get it even if he can't get it himself. His few words are mom, mine, dad, bye, hi, nana, tata... guess thats a lot now that I think of it but still he doesn't seem interested in talking... rarely needs to I guess cause he's so clear with his actions. Mason is becoming so imaginative... he plays, dinosaur! Roar!, BooBoo? Go Doctor?, Tutty (puppy), Pirates. He's so funny. He tantrums like crazy and is hard to keep him happy, he has a tendency to get angry a lot which worries me but I'm sure its just confusion he still has too many parents and not enough of mommy. I've been finding it difficult to find the energy and drive to play and have fun with them. I am on an emotional rollercoaster and I think its hormonal, but one thing is for sure I know I can play with my babies for a long time once they get home and drain me of this damn ache in my chest. I want to get out of here but something keeps holding me back and I don't know what. I wish I could just graduate now and plan for our future elsewhere... been thinking about a smaller town outside of a city... I think I would enjoy that... but there's always the question of whether I can find a job there. Anyway I better start cleanin of my mom will freak on us for being so lazy. But hey... its not everyday I get to spend the weekend in bed watching movies and reading books. Laterz.